HoLiDAy Ku

Introduction to our actors and actresses…

CrocLeong – the most well known buaya air (swap crocodile) that attack his enemy by farting and burping smelly + acid + poisonous gases

Chris – the also well known buaya darat that has two front teeth jutting out, that confuses himself. Get mixed up with he being the crocodile or the mischievous rat. When you need a guitar he’s always around to lend a helping ribs!

Khee yuan – A well know make of Jellies that is named after his initials. Serious person. Never put too much food in him.

Cheong Wei – The most eligible guy in the group, he is level-headed that when triggered turn in to the most notorious animal that no one has ever imagine!

Siew Chin – The baby in the family, J she’s really good with cooking and if you’re lucky you might get to taste her cooking! Cun babe.

Hui – Siew Chin’s younger sister. She is very friendly. Speaks fluent Thai too J

Siew Foong – Another cun babe but once she has made up her mind, nothing can change her. Even a parang cannot chop her hard neck. She has passion for green things. Look out for her pair of tortoise and her green Iswara. J

Ricky – Kamikazi! Haid! His most sexy feature is his pair of mesmerizing eyes. Although there’s nothing much of a eye to see, mostly slits. Anyway, he’s a real gentlemen that counts every cents J haha.

Kelvin – He’s imported from Sarawak. I hope his girl friend and mum is not reading this because he smokes a lot! His phone is his navigator.

Su Lin – Cun babe too. Sexy hair and very out going. Fun to have her around.

The story goes…..enjoy

Friday nite…

All geared with Vitamin M, all the "necessary" attire and food for the journey, we departed CrocLeong’s house 9:45pm (supposedly 9pm) to B.M. The journey was quiet after a tough day at work. Everyone was either thinking of unfinished business, too tired or the passengers in the car are too boring. I think it’s the first two…

12:30 am...

We had the earliest meal for Saturday at 12:30 am. Low Wong Ngah Choi Kai was over-rated and definitely not meal of the day. Oils must be cheap in Ipoh for the shining kwai tiew was covered with oils (that’s why I said shining). Plus the water boiled chicken, I thought that’s all the oils I need for the day, unknowingly, more to come. Chris happily pointed out the Ah Kua walking to and fro the place, probably trying to attract Chris’ attention. She-He succeeded, too easy infact, because of Chris natural tak yi kong lang that detects any girls from 4 to 99 years old. My opinion, the She-He looks like the butcher in Pudu market with long hair, not only on the head but everywhere! To trust or not to trust Chris taste? You be the judge.

BM tai ko….

After the minor meal in Ipoh, my Kembara managed to reach Cheong Wei’s (CW) house. The BM tai ko, mum and brother have very kind hearts to take us all under their roof. Although we stink of out body ester, and grumpy from lack of sleep, the guys managed to find their spot in the living room fighting over pillows and a soft surface… (doesn’t that remind you of …) and CW gave up his bed for me (very touched). Su Lin (SL) was with me in the room, so she was saved too from the buayas stalking down below.

9:30am in the morning, we were all up. It’s a miracle since we only managed to get sleep 3 am. It must be the membabi instinct showing in all of us, damn bloody hungry. Hokkien mee was disappointing but the fish ball as ok. At least we got to see BM town J

The start of our food expedition…

2 hours after our first meal, punctually Chris got his second input. CrocLeong told me that Chris must consistently be fed like a baby. After meeting Siew Chin and Hui , we ate delicious asam laksa and char kuey teow, with the remaining weird people eating chicken with rice. Khee Yuan’s (KY) so called Japanese Tit Pan Siew Kai taste good. I wanted the whole thing to myself but not wanting to show my true self just yet, I decided to hold on. It was the toughest decision not to eat tasty food.

The trip up….

When we reach the foot of Bukit Bendera, the place was packed with holiday makers. It was a long wait up. No matter cause we do have jesters around to provide entertainment. For instance the Age Guessing Game was real fun with excitement for the players and the spectators. We also tried to guess who is the buaya for darat and water. Being an energetic bunch of monkeys we commented on everything that cross our eyes and ears from Gates 1,2,3,4 to Kiasu 1,2,3… Amidst the stupid remarks we made, Ricky, yes he was there all along, suddenly burst out loud "….secondary cache.. " or was it "…L1 L2 cache…"… When a person as grand as Ricky, an intelligent entrance was the best. Although I don’t know what it was, I pretended I know, not wanting to show my tweety brain to all. I think others were in the same situation too. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that while you guys not there yet, I got an admiring stare from an Ang Moh. Phewit! Only those who know good quality will appreciate me. Later I got to know, not by talking to that Ang Moh (shit I missed the chance, due to too many biological mishaps @ the monkeys around me) but by reading the prints on his T’s back, that he’s from Scandinavian territory. Tall, fair, handsome, not to mention blond too, an athlete’s body… wow what a dream guy come true. J

Up up and away…

Yippie!!! We reached the top at around 3:45pm. It was the most squashed, most body contact, most humid, most long wait, most amusing, most entertaining trip up on the tortoise cable car. Too bad Allen wasn’t there, cause the waiting and the time spent in the cable car would have cut by more then half. All the KFC in Allen would prove useful now to pull us up.

Wondering around the breezy top, we took some pictures and went on our discovery. Not much to discover but some slept like a pig and that is Ricky. I hope CrocLeong would put up his picture soon with the saliva dripping and mouth quivering (probably dreaming of something lustful). He always brings himself prim and proper but who knows what goes on in his brain? Later, he managed to squirm himself sitting next to SL, yes, the innocent babe. Unknowingly, Ricky tap his hand all the way to SL’s shoulder. Snap! Snap! Evidently, we can use the photo to blackmail Ricky but we won’t do that until we need to extort money from him. CrocLeong, keep the negative off site okay. Better take precautions.

Chris’ tooth pick, you know ‘little bro’ always kena tease. That day, he made us eat our words when he found his Cannon. Proudly he launched himself on top and said… look my toooot looks so big… wah hahahahahahahahaha wah hahahahahahahaha.. no more the little tooth pick. Kelvin (Kau Chi) was more than amused. Probably thinking mine was bigger then that. Later he really went and measure. How? He stand adjusting the position and then started scrutinizing. He wasn’t that satisfied realizing his couldn’t beat the cannon. He started smoking and in deep thoughts. Wonder how many packets for that day?

We finally descended around 5pm and reach the bottom after aiming aimlessly for 1 hour plus. Most of us were quiet, not because we were savoring the fun we had up there but too tired.

Bukit Tambun….

Intentionally, everyone wants to membabi, especially SL J . She make sure we eat at Bukit Tambun before she leaves for Alor Setar. It’s something like Klang, where there are rows and rows of shops next to eat other selling the SAME thing. Seafood. It will be ironic if someone suddenly wants to eat assam laksa cause there won’t be any. Stupid too when you’ve come all the way there. We settled with a restaurant called Neptine.

"Anything lah…", "Cincai lah ok…", "…I want hego, sotong lah..vege? vege?…", "aiyah..crab ah, expensive lah, fish ah…", "...lice? yes want to eat lice…" After all the debate and struggle to order the best possible seafood, we settled with Broccoli fried with scallop, fried sotong, kam hiong hego x 2 , cheong hing fish, bamboo shrimp, weird looking snails (which most hated) , and appetizer like mango kerabu and satay. What a SUMPTUOUS meal. The best part was when everyone rush for the food. It does makes them taste better. Talk about membabi, who can beat us doing it? We’re professional, aren’t we? Chris, always talks a lot after a full stomach, decided to entertain us with his chicken chasing story. Yep, he has a wonderful childhood living with chickens. Now, don’t sway your thinking, it’s not those chicken you’re thinking off. It’s the feathery little bugger and he’s devoted to them. No wander he’s having a red spot in his room. Hibernating should be the next agenda but then the hyperactive monkeys decided to go Disco!

Chang chang chang….suddenly there’s a bright light.. appearing… (drum roll please)… it’s a superman, it’s a Martian, no it’s CrocLeong Super VISA card! Tada….. Clap clap clap… anyway, he foot the bill with his new arrival (we have to pay back one lah J ) We all almost puke (and waste all the food we ate) when we saw his leng chai photo on the card. But thanks to our good stamina, we were able to overcome that.

Run around the bush…

We were supposed to meet SC, Hui, Winnie and SF at Modesto in Berlissa Row. I had a real strategic parking (RM2.00 parking) because anyone who hang around actually help me wipe my car. How fortunate! After 1 hour of debating because the place was packed with party-goers, we decided to go a discotheque called Long Island.

Cun Babe…..

Cun babe, cun babe.. this is all you hear chanting from CrocLeong and Chris. Everywhere we go, eat, shit, sleep, they will go see chun babe cun babe. What’s more when we were there in Berlissa Row, we have to buy buckets to contain their saliva. We won’t want the acids slashing onto everyone. Have mercy for other in the group for having to put up with perverts like them! SL, SC, Hui and Winnie was so embarrassed, poor ladies. Not to mention the menacing look those babe’s boyfriends gave us! Those two deprived of female companionship never think of their friends’ safety… sigh… I think the bad side has shown. Any innocent girls reading this, please beware of the two babe hunger guys, when unfortunately you met them in the future. There goes guys. I’ve advertised for you two. Then again I wonder why KY never chun babe cun babe like his fellow friends? Maybe he would cun guy cun guy… haha.

Long Island….

The drive there was tricky and KY would go "FY don't drive so fast!", "FY you drove dangerously!", "FY drive slower!", etc...sigh… what a nag. I guess his age is catching up. J The Long Island @ more like ah beng hangout den, charged us RM11.00 entrance fees!!! No drinks some more. Can someone please teach them how to do business ah? Anyway, me and SF really swing head and having much fun when two mah lat low spoilt it for us! Cis! When me and SF joined the group guess what I saw? Kelvin, complained that he never wanted to go disco with us in the first place and that staying home was his idea (I guess stay home so that he can chain smoke J interest him more). Anyway, he was never neglected as I saw him chatting closely with Winnie (SF’s friend incase I forget to mention), way the go Kelvin. Impersonate a pig to eat a tiger (direct translation from Cantonese). That is why Chris was killing himself with an AK47! He beat heart (direct translation again) because he failed to approach a babe. Again, Kelvin beat him to it even when Chris wear until Kuai for kom leng (smartly dressed). Anyway, SL, another sexy babe was just better then any other babe at the other table but I bet Chris is blind! So is CrocLeong. Oh did I mentioned that CrocLeong, KY, CW, and Ricky played pool. RM3.00 was really worth it as the game was played long enough for profitable return. AND… SC and Hui was actually Tui Beh Chao (drinking beer), they enjoy it immensely. Maybe SC is not as innocent as it seems uh? J

Hadyaai ! Here I come!….

After putting up a night in SC’s cozy apartment (over looking the Penang bridge – heaven), on Sunday, me, SF, SC and Hui went Hadyaai. It took us 2 hour drive. We have no problem at all with the custom. In fact, Hui and SC knows all the custom officer there! Wow! SC has got the most impressive house I’ve ever seen. The shop house was smartly converted to look like a four story-detach house. Her mum and dad were very nice to me and SF. He told SC to bring us to Macro J .

SC and Hui brought us climb mountain to visit the four-faced Buddha and Kwan Yin. The climbing process was a tough one, it’s a 45 degree up hill all the time. The scenery was scenic, beautiful and oxygen was really fresh (maybe should have ta pao). It’s so challenging, heart-stopping and soul satisfying when we finally managed to reach the top. Oh forget to mention that we drove up actually. Hahahahaha. After paying tribute, we took pictures over looking the whole of Hadyaai (breath-taking). SF finish up your 16 shots and develop the photos lah!

Our next stop was the city. It was packed with tot-tot car. It’s like petaling street with Thai speaking sellers.

Luckily SF and I had a great translator. All our expenditure were in hundreds! The really really fun part for SF, I think should be BARGAINING. She just loves bargaining and when the seller finally gave in, SF will just say, I don’t want to buy! Hahahahahahaha what a hobby. Another best part was eating tong shui like Lin chi, bird nest, and lin chi kang. The coconut was really young and the fried chicken really yummy. We also ate small round little kuih taste like custard with santan but not quite… just yummy. The city spree was enchanting (dirty and hot) not to mention the friendly people of Hadyaai ( I don’t know what they say anyway) but I do know that the cashew nut aunt was nice. Me and SF’s favorite shopping place was TOPS supermarket! Yep, WE spent most of our money there! Hahahahahahaahahaha. It was great cause we found the softener really cheap among other things. I even bought one basket of Thai’s instant noodles. My mum loved them!

After a full filling day, we went back SC’s place and rest in her guest living room. We were entertained with movie, drinks and SF’s free gift – keropok! SF actually slept. And I enjoyed the air-conditioned room.

Before long, it’s time to go back to Malaysia J . How can we go back without tasting the yummy tomyam rite? SC and Hui treat us the Seafood tomyam (really good, cause I love it) – thinking of it now is a torture to my taste buds .. oopss… quick quick.. saliva dripping…the extraordinary curry chicken (with basil leave), the extra hot Thai soup, kang kong and kerabu sotong. Yummie! Please allow me a few seconds to suppress the though of food in my brain now. With a happy yet heavy heart, we left Hadyaai.

Sunday nite…

Ricky, Kelvin and Su Lin decide that they have had enough of CrocLeong, Chris and KY’s company and thus the left Penang for Ipoh and Alor Setar respectively. Left you guys for a day and you all misbehaved! Sigh….

Baby Photos…

We spend Sunday nite at CrocLeong’s house in Kulim. His sister Sook Han was very friendly and we became fast chi mui J she even offer to share bed with me! Then as promised, we went in search of CrocLeong’s baby photos. True enough he looks ..errr.. like orang asli child – thin and lanky, dark, his pants never reach his ankle (wonder how long can his pants last? I think he bought extra long and wear it till it reaches his butt!) and the most prominent features that proves that it is his childhood photos are his, yes, THICK full lips!J All three of us was very fascinated how little he changed and ask his sister if he used to fart and burp like he is now. Well, that’s for you to guess. Anyway, we do see a replica of him when he is young. His little brother look just like him! Wonder when his little brother will be fed with Pig’s liver soup? Yucks! J CrocLeong’s parents are the friendly and hospitable lot. I refer CrocLeong’s mum as mama bear because she is those that I would turn to for a hug when I’m in trouble. I actually gave her a hug before I left J . Daddy is also friendly, at least he speaks cantonese J and we can communicate. Then the mystery, why CrocLeong speaks such bad cantonese? Oh his furry guinea pig is sooooooo cute and that little fella has got acrophobia. So fun torturing him J

Kek Lok Si….

CrocLeong managed to rid of KY, Chris and I to attend his sister’s convocation. Left with nothing to do (after being dumped) we went in search of Kek Lok Si. Due to our good sense of direction, we managed to park our car in the basement of the temple.

2 plates please…..

Since morning we haven’t eaten and thus the first thing we did was, you’ve got it, FOOD. We had each a plate of prawn paste Chee Cheong Fun and KY- another chow kuey teow, Chris – another kuey teow teng and me – another assam laksa. Membabi betul!

Against all gravity odds, we start ascending back to the temple. KY bought 2 balls (thanks to my bargain power) at RM10.00 (cheap balls he has) hahahaha. KY keeping those ball as spare-parts? Ain’t they a wee bit too heavy for your size? J If you’re looking for free souvenirs I guess Kek Lok Si is the place. The price ranges from RM20-RM80 (on the price tags) and after an effortless bargain the price will range from RM2-RM8, or even for free. Phew! What a cheap place. In the end, none managed to sell us anything (we are too kiam siap with our money). Anyway, I bought 2 ducks and some coins with hold.

Chris was very fascinated with all the colorful statues and the engraved ceiling and walls.

We also went up the pagoda and I managed to chat with a Swedish guy (yeap, lucky me another big fish). He has good grayish-green eyes, tall and blond too. I must be in luck the whole trip because I get admiring stare from one and now I’m chatting with one…it’s like living a fantasy. We talked a whole 15 minutes and sadly I have to end the conversation not because I want to but because of those two monkeys being too restless! Too bad! Guys, you won’t meet with any babes. Hahahahahahahaha.

Still have time while waiting for CrocLeong to finish his convocation (he told us later that he’s more of a servant there looking after babies and taking photos, yes a Maria!)... what to do? What to do? Damn Damn Damn. Suppose to go hiking in the Air Itam Damn but then we end up walking on tar-ed road around the lake. It does us some good as it helped us digest food. Air was fresh and it helped to kill time.

Mari mari makan Cendol….

Driving around town for 20 minutes before we found the cendol store. It was in a lorong and true to it’s famous claim to be the best in town, I find it very good. Better then the one opposite Taman Bahagia station. Kring kring…kring kring…. Ah… CrocLeong called and he is waiting for us in Island Plaza.

Off we go Plaza Island. We played a game of pool (CrocLeong and KY won the pool game cause poor Chris have to partner me) and arcade games. It was real fun beating the guys at Daytona especially Chris who lost twice to me! At least KY and CrocLeong lost gracefully but not Chris, he has to challenge me again. Too bad. Hahaha! CrocLeong was really good at racing the arcade bike. You get to see his butt swell to the right and then swell to the right like a big butt lady walking, only this is CrocLeong and that makes a stomach uneasy. Come to think of it, biking is really fun. KY wasn’t able to show his stuff with arcade. I guess the Street Fighter is out of fashion already.

Membabi betul…

Our next stop was Gurney Drive again. We have buah rojak, mat sambul, mua chi and sotong bakar (haaaa.. smell my mouth after I eat that! Haha!) The lin chi kang was great too. Lots of stuff but cost only RM1.50. After another sumptuous meal, we left Penang back to CrocLeong’s place.

KY keep complaining that the drive back to CrocLeong’s house was too long because he has to concentrate on the road whereas the remaining monkeys were free to make fun of each other either verbally or physically (how terrible of Chris and CrocLeong!). I have all the access to do poking!

FI drivers in Malaysia…..

During the whole trip when KY drives or not driving, I found that the quotes he used to show bondage to other drivers on the road will be "…Aiyah PENANG dliver ah dunno how to dlive one lah, so signal one…", " Ai yo yo… look at that KULIM driver man… (referring to CorcLeong) driving like mad man!…", "Oh here also go IPOH dliver one lah…also dunno how to drive on the road!, they are lost man, they are lost...." Did I mentioned that KY is a KL driver? I bet the PENANG, KULIM and IPOH drivers all said the same thing about WGT380. Worst of all, "Yeng cheh ng yeng yan" meaning I’m at a risk whenever I go around Penang,Kulim and Ipoh in my car thanks to that KL driver loh.

Membabi betul betul betul.…

Back at CrocLeong’s house, we rest to prepare ourselves for the late night snack (so called only). I like watching God of Cookery because it’s so stupidly funny! When CrockLeong finally woke up from his lustful slumber, we drove all the way to BM town for our charcoal fried kuey teow with duck eggs! That was my first best chow kuey teow since arriving Penang 3 days ago! The K attitude has got into us again! CrocLeong, KY and me actually ate 2 plates each! Membabi betul! Have to stress MEMBABI BETUL! It was worth the sneering and sarcastic remarks from Chris anyway (he ate one plate only) cause you won’t get any better anywhere else.

Quack quack…..

On our final day in Kulim, CrocLeong brought us tour Kulim town. Wah….! I was fascinated with the town. Really most of the shops were closed and that left us with nothing much to muse about and we had to walked miles to eat the Wan Tan Mee and white coffee. Luckily CrocLeong was quick to make amends and we had our promised famous Duck lice! (ahem I mean rice) Yummy. We drove all the way through pot holes and cup holes just to get there! Imagine our determination to membabi! J The duck meat was tender and tasty but the skin is not crispy (probably it was over rated). Overall it was another sumptuous meal. Oh thank you KY too for spending all on the Duck rice and my star fruit juice J

After a heart wrenching good byes to uncle Chan (CrocLeong’s dad) and his little bro, we headed back to Kuala Lumpur. The trip back was quite rewarding too as all of us managed to stop at Ipoh (Chris wanted to see mummy) Since Chris lost or rather FORGOT his way home, we went looking for his mummy in one of the high schools in Ipoh town. Lucky me, I meet with another leng chai. He is Chris’ youngest brother. Too bad he’s too young for me, if not… hiak hiak hiak. Nevermind that, I’m patience and I’ll wait. J

Chris proves to us his claim to be very popular with Ipoh town folks. He brought us to this biscuits shops to get some Shat Kei Mah and other famous homemade cookies. Instead of getting discounts (he claimed that the owner is extra friendly to him, ..mm wonder why? What service did you provide?) he was given a free packet of kaya curry puffs. It was to be shared on the journey back to KL but then guys being pigs, they did not give me any L I was so dissapointed that did not allow me to eat the miserable puffs. Only when they cannot finish the last piece did they allow me to have it...sigh… J

That was my story of HoLiDAy Ku. Despite the setbacks (you know.. monkeys) I enjoyed the trip throughly from start to end as I get to go so many places and make full use of my days off work. Furthermore I got to meet up with my friends like SC and CW. No regrets.

** Readers, please do not get offended when reading. Some style of writings are meant to be a joke and might not hold any truth. This composition is for the fun reading of all. **